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NOT IN SERVICE!

6/7/07

TriMet. Love them? sure. Hate them? At the moment YES, unequivocally!

Anybody out there like babies? Not babe, as in “That’ll do pig” but real life babies. Human. OK, more like toddlers. But Actual 3-dimensional toddlers, nontheless. Yes? well, me too! However, a certain TriMet bus driver at the corner of Burnside and 3rd (sw) seems to love toddlers perhaps a little too much. Apparently this driver of bus #2823 had had a little too much of waiting 3.5 minutes for a pedalpalooza parade of innocent, ebullient, cyclists (uni-hi-tandem-trailered-mini you name it buster) to pass by on her precious Burnside avenue. Her Precious avenue! HER street! HERS! She began blasting her P.A. at the brave (oh so very!) people who had been designated as saftey guardians. It was apparently their job to stop cross traffic and tell the aforementioned ebullient riders when/where to go. Priceless individuals, one and All! They performed admirably! “Clear the lane!” Driver #2823 shouted. The safety personnel maintained their Tiananmenesque Steel. When the parade had finally passed her precious space, driver #2823 charged forth into her world of fury and- get this- STRAIGHT AT A TWO YEAR OLD TODDLER IN HER BURLEY TRAILER! There was engine revving! There was audible wheel turning! There was also malicious, hateful, murderous intent in Driver #2823’s Lipid soaked Eyes! How many Cheesy-poofs must one consume before one’s heart is so cold that rapidly driving within INCHES and on an INTERCEPT course of an innocent burley encased toddler becomes the appropriate thing to do??????? A friggin’ butt-load if you ask me! This rampaging driver actually swerved TOWARD the innocent toddler (whose quick thinking and subsequently furious father zig zagged out of the way at the last minute). FOUR INCHES separated the happy child from certain death! There were several witnesses. Names will be named. Will TriMet respond appropriately? Should she be Terminated? I SODDING THINK SO! Did I mention that her bus was “NOT IN SERVICE”? Where the hell did this crazy dvotchka have to go that necessitated potentially killing an innocent child? I’d like to know.

More later…... O, my brothers!

- Doper