happy new year
DOpEr RIdEs!
A column
8/12/08
BRIDGEPEDAL!!!!
Hey Ducky-boy, Shut the hell up already!
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7/28/08
Update.
Well, my brothers, a lot has happened since we last spoke. Take off your sport coat. Zip on your sweater. Remove your loafers. Slip on your chuck taylors. Give trolley a playful slap on the ass and sit a spell. Don’t know about you, but hell, I AM excited to see Mr. McFeely!!!
Taints were waxed.
Sponsorship was achieved.
Trails were dug.
Cross pollination was performed.
Insurgents were routed.
Jugglies were stifled.
Bastards were recruited.
Cocks were made.
The AntiCock was made with FIRE!
Rules were broken.
Races were raced.
Boys were banned.
Bikes were built.
Trophies were won.
Dresses were torn.
Gloves were rubbed in small circles.
Whew! If I give you any more, you’ll have to buy me dinner and meet my folks.
-Doper
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5/20/08
P.U.M.P. Me UP!
Well, my brothers, I’ve done it. I’ve violated #10. I joined a club. P.U.M.P.. I’m sorry. Don’t blame Mark at Revolver Bikes He may have put the 10% discount gun to my head, but I looked Christopher Walken square in the eyes and pulled the trigger myself! So, it’s done. I feel little remorse. I told them I’ll be coming. Are any of you chellovecks up to the challenge? Can you swing a pulaski? I already know you can swig a beer.
Ah rode mah bike a hunnert miles.
-Doper.
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3/17/08
NO!
YOU
CAN’T
SEE
MY
STUMP.
Please go away. Take your fixie and your ironic trucker hat and your knickered carhart’s and your wallet chain and your alley cat cards in your spokes with you. Thank you. now go away please. you’ve been swell.
-Doper
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