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So you want a brake on your uni?

But you can’t afford a Hunter or KH Egocycle and you can’t justify yet another damn unicycle to your poor beleaguerd spouse or bank account, right?

I’ll bet you also don’t know nuthin’ about welding, right?

Well, you’re in luck! ‘cause I’m hear to tell you I’ve done it! Where? Right here in river city, and that rymes with pity which rymes with gritty and that stands for grit which you are about to get all up in your rim on account of your fabulous new brakes on your dusty old uni. Run on sentences rule!

So, here’s my “old” Uni:

why is it so sad??? It has no brakes. It's just a $40 frame with no braze ons.

But guess what? if you take a little trip to e-bay, you can score some brand new Magura calipers and a lever. New, used, it’s all there. I spent $5 for each caliper and $15 for the lever. Sweet! Here’s mine: I also bought this set of magura braze ons and mounting brackets from UDC. $28 plus $16.95 for shipping (damn! these people need a west coast distributor!)

Here they be. Now these pieces aren’t going to magically attach themselves to your cheap-ass frame. You need the skilled hands of a bicycle framebuilder. Here is David Feldman of Feldman Bike Repair in Vancouver Wa. (Sellwood cycle has his contact info)

Give David your uni, all of your parts, about a week, and $50 USD and here’s what you get in exchange! Hot diggity! (photo)

Now what about the appearance? It’s all Oogy and yucky. you say. This is my second Uni onto which David has affixed brake mounts. For my first, I simply have been lovingly applying rustoleum from a rattle can to the areas where the brazing process has destroyed the paint. Here she is. Tres manifique, no?

However, since my second uni came with a chrome finish, David has advised me to take more drastic action. He says the chrome in the penumbra of the brazing area will begin peeling off. Whoa, I am having flashbacks to the bitchin’ 60-wide chrome mags on my 1973 Chevy Nova SS. Peeling chrome….youthful indescretions…. But I digress. So for this uni, I am going to have it powder coated. What color???

Stay tuned…..

6/13/07 Part 2

I’m sorry. I was incorrect. In the first part of this column, I said “Give David your uni, all of your parts, about a week, and $50 USD and here’s what you get in exchange!” Well, actually if you give David all of your parts, about 4 weeksa and $40 usd and here’s what you get! Hot diggity!

I also mentioned in the first part that I would have to paint my uni after the brazeon process, didn’t I? Well golly shucks shazam! David Feldman is a genius! He figured out how to affix my parts to the cromed uni frame without ruining the chrome and therefore the is no need to paint! Now, mind you, I would love to have a T-Mobile Fuschia uni, but I would also like to NOT have to spend the extra time and effort on painting a frame. Halleluyah! Take a look at the finished product

I will have to use some kind of paint on the mounts themselves, but I have a few weeks to brush on a bottle of testors.

Did you also happen to notice the radical Ghetto -style brake lever mount hanging oh so rudely under the saddle? Take a look…. Guess how much it cost me to make. Give up? Zero Dollars!!! I had an old Mtn bike handlebar (which I cut into an appropriate size) and some copper plumbing hangers just lying around in my basement. I also had a rubber strip, the kind that is used to adapt small headlamps to the handlebars of commuter bikes. Again, Free. Awesome.

You are jealous.

Also, also, you won’t believe the ridiculous way that one installs the magura hydraulic hose onto the crossover barbed fittings. Totally crazy. After wasting about 11.2 decicentimegamillameters, I have become quite adept. Contact me if you ever need help.

Now go get your brake!

Love, Ira

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